Hawaii post #3

I was inspired by Hawaii’s giant bonsai trees.

This Might Take Awhile

It's taken 25 minutes to count this many. Only $450 to go....

editor's note: they kicked me out after $81.12. they weren't too happy with my cart load of Abrahams.

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Hawaii post #2

A few more pics from vacation.

After the surfing lesson I took a bath with Speedy Gonzales. Not too shabby being able to stare out at the ocean while you soak. Then Steve came over with dinner, a red snapper. He cleaned the fish and told me to give the guts to the crabs. I held a funeral ceremony on the cliffs. Leah had a drink. Steve made an amazing spread, he made us let him have the head (we didn't argue) and Pono fell asleep. Adults are boring.

The next day we went to the volcanoes, walked through lava tubes and went to Aunty Cindy's place to partake another masterful dinner by Steve. We also had my new favorite thing, poke. It's cut up pieces of raw fish. I'm certain I now have mercury poison from all the ahi I consumed.

The next day we went to Waipio Valley. Hands down the most amazing place I've ever been. Wild horses just waltzing around down in this secluded paradise. You have to have four-wheel drive to make it down the death-defying hill. I did the boogie boarding with Steve and Pono. Much easier than surfing. We finished up the day driving up the mountain to watch the sun set into the clouds.

Hawaii post #1

Two important things to know about Hawaii:

1. It lives up to the hype tenfold. I’ve heard how great Hawaii is from Leah’s family since the late 90s. Maybe you have that person in your life. The one who is all, “Hawaii this and Hawaii that.” And you’re all, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Well, I promise, it’s about a million times better than any hype-monger will ever monger. Go there as soon as possible. It will change your life. No joke.

2. No matter what you’ve heard, using US dollars there is suuuuuuuper easy. You don’t have to mess with conversion rates or awkwardly shaped coins. Just straight up greenbacks. (I drove Leah crazy with that hilarious joke.)

So, I’m not sure how to go about talking about this trip. I’ll just share some pics. And tell you to go Leah’s blog. She’ll do a much better job than me.

We went to Pearl Harbor. Did you know that there’s still oil bubbling up from that day? I guess they refilled all the tanks right before the attack. More than anything else there, seeing that oil really struck a chord with me.

We went to Waikiki Beach (down the road from Honolulu). We saw Duke (the five-time Olympic medalist in swimming and grandfather of surfing) and ate at his restaurant. I had a fruity drink. Leah questioned my manhood. I ignored her and ate my pineapple garnish.

We left Oahu for the Big Island. Leah’s aunts Cindy and Adele greeted us with leis. The next morning we woke up and had breakfast on the lava cliffs in our backyard. I was sleepy. The sun rose up from the ocean. Fruit flies rose up from the lava.

That day Cindy took us around the island. I drove. In a Mustang convertible. Best decision ever upgrading to that bad boy. It’s like being the captain of a rollercoaster.

The next day we drove through mango groves for surf lessons from Steve (uncle) and Pono (cousin). I stood up for 1.5 seconds. Surfing is hands down the hardest sport I’ve ever tried. We then popped over to Steve’s co-worker’s beach house for some snorkeling in their pond. It’s naturally heated by lava tubes.

Alright. That’s enough for today. I have to go get a new TV remote from Time Warner. Lola ate ours while we were away. If you’re not too bored I’ll share some more pics later in the week. Aloha.