"" bshawise: 2009

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Christmas Show Videos

Here's the short film, picture book animation and the flashmob videos from this year's Christmas Show.







Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Playing Catch: part one

It's been almost a week since we put on The Christmas Show (it'll be online if you missed it). All in all, I am quite pleased. I've been thinking how to blog about a few thoughts bouncing around my head since the show. I've decided to do a series of posts. If you were around for the Tadpole series, it'll feel like that probably.

The idea for this series came after trying to make a bunch of fortune cookie statements about my learnings from this year's show. One of them was something like, "Collaboration is the most productive and rewarding action we can take in life." I believe that to be true. And if you know me, you know I like to use/mix metaphor(s) when describing things. My main metaphor in this series will be using the game of catch to describe collaboration. Enough set up, let's begin.

Good collaboration is like a good game of catch. When I was a kid, I all but lived to play catch with my dad. He was a football coach and he played college football. I remember honestly believing that if he wanted to he could punt the ball and hit an airplane. So we'd play catch after he got home from practice, we'd play on the weekends at halftime of the OSU game, we'd play after church, and the ultimate was playing under the lights before the pre-game warm ups on Friday nights. For whatever reason, there's something magical about catch. If you don't cry in Field of Dreams at the moment you are pure robot.

Catch almost always begins with one person's idea. In my case, it was usually me saying to my dad, "Let's play catch." Catch sucks with just one person. So I had to find someone who could help me execute my idea. And many times I had to cast a little vision in order to convince my dad. "Let's play catch. After dinner. We can do it in the backyard in the shade and it'll awesome and I'll catch every pass and c'mon what do you say, let's play catch."

So the very first rule in collaboration is once you have the idea you have to find your partner. This is easier said than done. In the game of catch I never once asked my mom to play. She would've been more than willing and available. She would've even tried really hard. But she sucks at catch. A good idea can die prematurely if you pick the wrong collaborator. A good idea can also die if you don't cast the appropriate vision. You have to know the person you're asking and the situation they're in. I often knew my dad was hungry, tired and sick of being in the sun. So I knew we needed dinner and shade for catch to be a possibility.

Picking the right collaborator and casting the appropriate vision factored into my initial steps toward collaboration in The Christmas Show. Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I fell on my face. I won't go into specifics because I don't think it's applicable. But my point is, you really need to think thru who you ask to play catch. If you're tossing around the idea of starting a business, buying a house, experimenting with a new hobby, whatever, this first step of who you ask to help is crucial. So many factors go into the choice. For me, when I ask people to collaborate with me on creative projects I think about their experience/expertise, their availability, their track record (can I trust them?). I can't ask someone to help just because their available and interested. They have to know how to _______ and I have to know I can trust them to deliver. These factors have to be thought thru before the project starts. Nothing worse than starting that game of catch and realizing your available and interested partner throws like a girl.

The other reality is that oftentimes, the person you're asking to help doesn't see in themselves what you see. So they may think they don't have the level of expertise you need. Or they may not feel they have the availability. This is when you have to cast the appropriate vision and be willing to begin collaborating even in the idea stage. I'll give you a specific example. I wrote the script for the heaven animation portion of the show. I immediately when to Mark and Lay and asked, "Can we do this?" They read the script and said no. It needed to be simplified. So I rewrote the script and went back and asked, "How bout now?" They said yes, kind of. We then went back and forth brainstorming ways to do the animation that was up to our standards and possible in our timeframe. We came up with a style and a tentative schedule. We tweaked as we went along. They were the right collaborators from the start. But if I weren't willing to adapt my idea and figure out ways for the project to fit into their schedule, skill set, etc. it never would've happened.

Find the right people to play catch and be willing to play after dinner in the shade. That's step one.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Reading, Ohio Represent

I love Reading, OH. I love Tony Pike and the Cats. I love Skyline. This photo is everything right with America.

bw

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Segway

We shared memories, Segway and me. Today we went our separate ways. Maybe some day when I'm filthy rich we'll be reunited. Until then...

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Young Forever

We listened to this song at least four times on the drive home from Pittsburgh after the Bearcats' big win. It's been my jam since then. The video does the song justice for sure.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Christmas Show

This year the Christmas Show will unwrap the nativity story on stage and screen. Six characters in six different art forms and styles that will work together to give you a fresh perspective on the nativity story. A mix of humor, drama, dance, original music and perhaps a couple streamer-launching cannons. tix.vineyardcincinnati.com















Friday, December 11, 2009

Flashmob

Download now or watch on posterous
IMG_0235.MOV (4174 KB)

Click download to watch my friends practice the dance in this window.


bw

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Dear Brian Kelly

Dear BK,

Part of me wants you to know that you're a big turd. I can't wait for your press conference where you'll talk about how you had to put your family first. I feel you, man. It must've been hard living on millions of dollars in a city that adores you. Things will clearly be better in some hick town in Indiana. The hub of impatient, self-righteous, rich white people. You're so selfless for moving your family to these greener acres.

All of me understands why'd you leave. It's the "how" that really bothers people with feelings. And all of me marvels at your rise to success. You clearly had a plan and man...you freaking did it. You're at the top. Ish. Nostalgia holds a powerful grip on this country of ours. So you're at the "top" because of conservative America's golden memories. Hurry up and win every game ever though. Those memories are burning holes in billionaires' pockets.

I have two hopes for you. One, I think I hope you succeed. For a few moments yesterday I wanted that Indiana black hole to swallow you up. But this morning, I don't think want that. I really am fascinated to see you work your magic. My main hope is that your magic turns into class. I hope your words become true and mean something. I hope the politician in you becomes a person. A person who garners others' trust and learns how to protect such a precious gift. Then you really will be on top.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

ND, think twice about Brian Kelly

Dear Notre Dame,

So uh...so you need a coach. We all saw that coming the first time Big Chuck waddled out in those khakis. I'm no expert when it comes to hiring coaches. But I did hear you're using a search committee, so you're clearly open to suggestions. I have a few.

#1. You don't want Brian Kelly 'cause he's all smoke and mirrors. He's Sigfreid and Roy. He's the David Blaine of success. You think he's levitating towards championships and coach of the year awards but really he's just...well, he's winning championships and coach of the year awards. But he's a trickster and a cheater. Check behind the curtain. You'll find a swindler with a sneaky suitcase full of sneaks.

#2. You don't want Brian Kelly 'cause he will bring super dumb kids to your super intelligent halls of education. Only dummies play sports good. Smarties are too busy thinking about debate club practice to run routes well, etc. Brian Kelly wants to poison your school with stupid. He thinks you can't win with your academic standards being so high. The days of genius quarterbacks like Ron Pawlus are gonzo he says. Don't let this remedial coach tarnish your untouchable, remarkable, enviable, out-of-this-worldable image of excellence. Keep that golden dome shiny and smart. Keep the articulate, well-spoken scholars in the locker room. Like it was when Dr. Lou was at the helm.

#3. BK is clearly over doing it with the Whoppers at his namesake. He's practically doubled in size since coming to the Nati. You know firsthand what a Biggie sized coach does to team morale. It's squashes it. Add to that BK's notorious desire for expansion and you have a Stay Puft Marshmallow situation on your hands.

#4. Dr. Lou should come back wearing the #45. Have you seen his pep talks? If yes, then you know what to do. If not, prepare to get pepped up in a big way. I'll design your tshirts for free. The Doctor Is Back In.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Gametime

My brother wrote a great blog here about our weekend in Pittsburgh. The whole trip was his idea. Months ago he randomly said, "We should go to the Pitt game." At first I was like riiiiiiiight. But then I started thinking about it. I pitched it to friends and it gained traction.

Everyone says things like this all time. And then for a little while get excited by their potential. But typically, we'll generate a list of reasons to kill the idea and we'll wax nostalgic about the would've, could've, should've. I am so unbelievably thankful that we ignored that list this time. It was an experience that we'll talk about for years. In the third quarter when it wasn't looking good for the Cats I thought to myself about how I didn't really care if they lost. The sum of the weekend's parts were greater than the result of the game. I really felt that. Don't get me wrong, winning is great. It made the ride home much better. But it's just a game. It really is. And if we change our perspective, the games can be an excuse to share experiences with your friends. That's the real good stuff. I know Fuller is going to rip on this post. But whatever, he's an angry old man.

That all said, I'm excited to share the experience of watching Tim Tebow cry on Jan. 1. That's gonna be sugar sweet.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Dr. Lou

I dare you to find a better 3ish minute segment on television than Dr. Lou. Actually, I take that back. I don't want you wasting a whole day on a pointless wild goose chase.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Backfire

I'm certain I don't understand this video yet. But for the past couple months this ditty has been my "theme song" of sorts. Miss Jackson and I sing it on our walks. True.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Thought Pop

Over the weekend someone came into my office and told me they wanted to be in the Christmas Show. This person was baffled when I said there weren't any spots open. He/she was also uninterested in helping backstage or being a part of future videos. This someone was only interested in the biggest spotlight we have. I found this quite frustrating on numerous levels.

But then today, as I tore down the stage, a thought popped through my head. I do the same thing with God. I want _____ and I kind of just want it now. I'm not interested in paying my dues or getting a different version of ______. I want what I want now and I'm baffled when I don't get it. He must find that quite frustrating. On numerous levels.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Yesterday, dummy.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Christmas Show

If you're in the 'Nati, mark your calendars for Dec. 21, 22, 23 and start telling your friends, neighbors and co-workers to do the same. We're opening our doors so you can share a FREE experience with your friends that will start conversations about faith, hope and love in the new year. More info to follow in the next weeks about ticketing and promo info you can use to invite your guests. Stay tuned.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Gut Feeling

I have this hopeful feeling. That's the only way I know how to dscribe it. It feels weird posting this, but a very real part me feels that in say five years or so people will know about filmmaking in Cincinnati. It'll pop up in conversations around the country. "I heard some church started making movies in Cincinnati and now it's like a thing there." Midwesterners who daydream of one day moving to LA or NYC to follow their passion will find it in their back yard. The Esquire will host premieres and the love affair for local talent starts beforehand when the indie band who wrote original music for the film plays a opening concert. People will say things, "I had no idea there was this much going on in Cincinnati." Doors will open for this local talent in the "big cities" around the US and the network will grow. Film schools around the area will promote their programs by boasting "industry experience" possibilities on the yearly Cincinnati films being produced. A film program at the Cincinnati School of Performing Arts will be created and kids will dream of breaking into the local industry. Proceeds will be used to help the community in tangible ways. There will be a buzz in the neighborhood coffee shops and bars- a sense of pride about the next project and about the city- a feeling of expectation. And for a little while people will say things like, "It's so weird that a church is doing this." But after awhile no one will think twice. It'll just be about the city and this "unexpected" thing that is happening. A few of us will know the backstory. And perhaps over some beers or coffee we'll marvel at what God did.

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Lone Ranger Myth



There's a lie that lots of us have swallowed. I'm going to call it The Lone Ranger Myth. I'm sure this lie affects numerous aspects of our lives. I'm going to focus on how it screws with the creative process. Here's a typical scenario. Jimmy has an idea for a thingamajig. It's his idea so he goes it alone. He does a little research, finds materials, assembles them just so and shows thingamajig to his friends. The Backslappers say, "Cool, Jimmy." The Armlinkers agree but they also offer ideas on how to improve it. Jimmy only listens to the Backslappers. Nothing great ever happens with Jimmy's thingamajig. It sits on his shelf and all Jimmy has to show for his work are the echoes from the Backslappers.

The magic happens when Jimmy thanks the Backslappers and goes on an adventure with the Armlinkers. These are the folks Jimmy collaborates with to turn his thingamajig into something truly beautiful and useful. Collaboration with folks who are willing to link arms with you is the only path to greatness. The Lone Ranger Myth is the belief that your idea can only be yours if you and only you do all the work. That's moronic. Collaborate with the Armlinkers and you'll experience a sense of community, accomplishment and wonder at what you all created together.

A big thanks to all the Armlinkers in my life. I'm grateful and excited that lots of adventures are yet to come.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Bearcat Fever

I wanted to catch some catch Bearcat fever last night. So a couple bros and I went to the Holy Grail on campus. I learned/noticed a few things in my few hours there.

Winning is fun. People like it.

College kids are silly. I felt very old last night when a group of co-eds were playing flip cup behind me. It's very odd to watch a game with an entire bar and have one table who is cheering about something else. Like when WVU scored, the flip cup squad was going nuts because the boys lost to the girls again. Annoying.

Curiosity almost killed the cat (me) last night. I saw this 6'5" guy in leather chaps in the bathroom. I was curious and inquired why he was sporting chaps. The Holy Grail isn't a biker bar. It's a college sports bar. He didn't appreciate this question. He said, "It's 40 degrees and I'm riding a motorcycle. You figure it out." Then he stared me down. I felt his laser glare burning the back of my head as I used the urinal. I escaped death. The old adage, "There are no dumb questions," doesn't apply in all situations.

There's nothing better than college football. Nothing.

Brian Kelly is going to break a lot of hearts. The murmur in the bar last night was, "He's gonna stay. He said he's gonna stay." The optimism in Cincinnati is cute. It's like when you go to the fair and you see all those cute little pigs. You know they're going to be dead and put on sandwiches soon. But you try and just enjoy their cuteness while they're still around.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Ellery

I had heard of this group but never heard them. That changed Wednesday at a house concert hosted by Jason and Emily Boys. They are amazing. I hope to convince them to write music for my film. Check them out at ellerymusic.com


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Fireflies

Two emo bros eat muffins at a Barnes and Noble coffee shop. One is a musician who just had an epiphany.

Bro, I just had an epiphany.

Yeah?

Maybe a breakthrough.

Ok.

A song about fireflies.

The bug?

Yeah. Remember those from when you were a kid?

Sure.

Well last night I was thinking about 10 million fireflies.

That's a lot of flies.

They'd fill the open air.

I mean I guess.

And leave teardrops everywhere.

What the crap?

You'd think me rude. But I would just stand and stare

Bro....what are you talking about?

I'd get a thousand hugs. From ten thousand lightning bugs.

I want you to stop talking like a sixth grade girl.

As they tried to teach me how to dance.

That's your song?

Pretty much.

Are you hoping the Wiggles will buy it from you?

No, bro. It'll be huge on alternative stations everywhere.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Right, bro. Riiiiiiiiight.


Monday, November 9, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Toronto: the jewel of the north

My beautiful wife planned our recent trip to Canada's largest city. Did you know Toronto became Canada's first city with pavement in 1983? Anyways, we took the train out of Windsor and were both shocked by how great train travel is. So, thinking about the rail projects on the horizon here in the midwest makes me very excited. The whole process is so easy. I hope terrorists and drug mules don't know about the complete lack of security involved with train travel. You really just show up, they scream "All aboard," and off you go. The seats recline, you have tons of room, and you get to see all the little towns along the way without having to slow down and worry about getting a speeding ticket.

I was blown away by the size of Toronto. It was really great to be in a city where I knew nothing. Figuring out a city is one of my favorite things. By the end of the week I was able to give directions to two different groups of tourists. This makes me happier than it should. We discovered some very cool restaurants. One was called The Queen and the Beaver Public House. We forgot to take our phones so we have no photos. Tragic error because this place was the absolute coolest. We took a few other photos though. Would you like to see them?

Toronto built this hoping to attract visitors from Seattle. I don't know why but Canadians have a real crush on our Pacific Northwest brothers/sisters.

I made Leah carry all the bags while I tried to get one of those flash mobs started in the train station. I found out the hard way that Canadians hate Footloose. No flash, no mob, just pale stares. All these years I thought they changed the name of ham to honor Kevin.

The best line of the trip was the very last day when the cab dropped us off at the train station. I gave the cabbie the rest of my cash and Leah goes, "Get rid of all that silly fake money."

I call this piece "Milk Math." I had no idea cream was 18%. And check out the French. Don't worry, I ordered Freedom Fries every chance I got.

How cute is she?

I was so busy navigating that I didn't notice this man sprinting past me, impersonating a train.

This is perhaps my new favorite shirt. Timmer "Douglas" Hoffmann just sent this to me in the mail from Chicago. It's the Great Lakes and here I am standing in front of Lake Huron. Full circle.

This pic would make wine-haters second guess their stance.

I ordered the lamb thinking I've had it before. I have not.

But it turns out I really like it.

Here's Leah doing the stanky leg.

Here's me being all awesome.

This was part of the mural at a restaurant called Fred's Not Here. I'm guessing "Fred" is Canadian for underwear.

Seeing this show was definitely one of the highlights. I know some people hate musicals. Those people are dumb. It was a real spectacle seeing how they did the stage changes. I got teary eyed a few times when the kids were singing with Maria. Not sure why. The whole night just really made me happy. A few days away with Leah were what I really needed.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Snuggie Groove

Thanks to Jane Mowery, Columbus' favorite Fremonster, for showing me this video.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Say What You Need to Say

Charlie Matthews, a friend and colleague died this past Saturday after weeks of fighting double pneumonia and its complications. My entire community is at a loss for words. I've been having very frank conversations with God and close friends. I uploaded this video with the thought that perhaps it can help you say what you need to say to God- whatever that may be.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Inuit Art

We went to the Musem of Inuit Art in Toronto. Truly amazing stuff. Leah and I decided that someday when we can afford the farmhouse (a dream we hatched over a cheese plate and British beer at The Queen and Beaver) we're going to have Inuit art sprinkled about our farmrooms. Maybe not this one of mean bear mauling helpless Inuit. But I will say that I appreciate the awareness and honesty this piece brings to onlookers. If you're goin' on a seal hunt keep one eye on the horizon. Lest you want a mongrol like this making himself at home in your liver.

bw

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Train of Thoughts

We're slowing to a stop in London, ON about two hours from Toronto. Ridin' dirty on this train brings back memories of Boston ten years ago. I lived in the Northend two blocks from P.Revere and his trusty steed. I used to walk to Haymarket station and take a series of trains 45 minutes out to Canton for work. I'd rock my Sony discman listening to Macy Gray, Mos Def, Rusted Root and Ben Folds. I'd get coffee at Dunkin Donuts with the same folks yet we never spoke. It was a commute with numerous steps and as I type I realize how much I miss it. I also realize how much has changed. I'm blogging on a device smaller than that discman. I'm playing my brother in chess (he's in Ohio), I'm reading about UC's football team (back then it would've been the basketball team when I got to work) I'm emailing an author I owe book cover to (Seeking forgiveness), and I'm doing all this next to my wife of five years. A lot has changed in ten years. Who knows what I'll be doing in 2019. Maybe riding trains to work with kids listening to Mos Def Jr. on their microscopic Internet machines.

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Country

Animated poem written by Billy Collins, former Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001-2003.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Nat'l Geographic: Lion

This lion is native to Northwest Ohio, specifically Fremont experts believe. He is nature's protector. He protects his bear friend from hearing all that poisonous rap music the kids are listening to. This wild lion is also married, loves Jesus and Timex. And he hates shirts. "They're itchy," he says. Those who have seen him run say he is like a gazelle. A ferociously sexy gazelle. Remain alert, however. He's still 100% lion.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Orbit

Download now or watch on posterous
IMG_0032.MOV (3445 KB)

Testing a video upload from phone.

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Friday, October 16, 2009

Untitled

I'm blogging from my phone this morning. I'm still in beta mode with this process so bear with me. But I wanted to say two very important things. 1. I went to the Grand Canyon once. 2. I'm tired of all the footballers wearing pink. I hate breast cancer and love its survivors as much as the next guy. But as a diabetic I feel cheated. Why can't my people and I have a color? Why can't OchoCinco's chinstrap, gloves, neoprene sleeves, bandaids and towel be lime green for a month in support of my/our survival? Is my slow march to death (caused by my quitter of a pancreas) not flashy enough to deserve a pigment- takeover? Tell that to the lil orphans in big orphanages pricking their fingers and poking needles into their tiny orphan arms. We diabetics don't live in a colorblind world, we live in a colorforgotten world. And that stings red hot.

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What's in the box?

Mad Beats

Totally buying one of these if they're affordable.

Monday, October 12, 2009

SNL: James Carville

In my opinion, this little segment was the highlight of snl this weekend. And that's saying a lot because this weekend had Gilly. Not only was Hader's impression spot on, but the content was smart and funny. That's the trifecta in my book.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Do Something

Earlier this week I had a sushi lunch with a coworker where we talked about the creative process. Lots of good food and conversation but one part stood out. We were talking about how you go from having an idea to actually doing it. This coworker shared that often he'll have a great idea but then pretty quickly a voice in his head will explain why he could never pull it off. That's pretty common I think. But then he told me that lately he's realizing that this negative knee-jerk reaction to ideas/dreams/goals/etc. might be related to his early days. He grew up in a "That's great... but" family.

"Mom/Dad, I learned this new riff today, it's awesome. I think I wanna be a musician someday."

"Honey, that's great... but being a professional musician takes years and years of practice."

"Right. That's why I'm in lessons."

"Which is great... but it's more than just practice. Listen, all I'm saying is that it's always smart to have a plan B."


So now, as a "grown up," my coworker battles this negative knee-jerk mentality. He says that even though he doesn't want to he always finds the negative aspects of ideas/dreams/goals/etc.

I grew up in a "That's great" family. When I told my dad that I wanted to win the Heisman Trophy he said, "That's great. We should go play catch." My parents' knee-jerk reaction was to convince me that anything was possible. So when I say silly things like we're going to make enough money doing films that we're going to pay off the Healing Center.... I'm only half kidding. My inner demons are the opposite of my coworker's. The trick is in figuring out how to manage them. Believing you can do something/anything is great if and only if you act on those beliefs. Action is the key. And it works the other way. If your inner demons are constantly feeding you excuses and reasons you can't do something the only way to beat them down is thru action. You gotta do something.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Legacy

This is just about the most depressing thing ever.



Based on our history I fear this will never happen...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

That's silly

This inspires me. When I have silly dreams and goals that are far fetched and statistically improbable, stories like this remind me to keep dreaming instead of thinking "rationally."

Monday, October 5, 2009

Prom

The Prom was exactly what I expected this past Friday- simply amazing. My highlight was dancing with a dude in a wheelchair. We're working on a video piece but until then, here's a piece the local news put together.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Giantfaces







Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Nick the Giant

I don't know why but this really cracks me up. I can't take credit for it. I found it on the internet. I'm 49% inspired to photoshop other people's faces onto Andre's body. If I end up getting 89% inspired I'll do some post em up here with Nick. Until then, Nick is plenty.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Man vs. Animal Flu

This weekend I was in Omaha, NE for my cousin's wedding and not only did I have to deal with the language barrier, but I'm pretty sure I have squirrel flu. It's not as bad as pig flu but it's worse than your average cold. I maintained a steady intake of uppers, downers, herbs, dietary metallic elements and vitamins just to stay functional. It was a blitzkrieg of liquid confusion that half worked. But, I managed to rally and even dance a little at the reception.

I've decided two things. 1. Once I'm over this I don't want to ever get sick ever never ever again. 2. We all need to start washing our hands like we have OCD. This is a new leaf for me. I've never been an advocate for hand-washing. I'm not opposed to it, obviously. It just hasn't been a priority. Until now. All it took was for my body to get held hostage by squirrel flu to realize how much I dislike germs. And what I realized is that sick people are everywhere. They are touching things with their germ-covered hands. Things that you're going to touch. Then you're gonna get sick and touch things and the vicious germfest gains strength, disables humanity and squirrels and pigs take over the world. Our only defense is hand-washing.

Leah taught me this weekend that you're supposed to wash your hands for :30 seconds. And we're supposed to do that ten times a day. Is that insane or what? They say you should sing the happy birthday song while you scrub. I really hate that song. I won't sing it at your birthday no matter how much I love you. So I found another song option. Sing about Johny, wash those hands obsessively and let's beat this onslaught of animal influenza. The primal, evil genius of birds, squirrels and pigs won't be able to defeat us if we hold our clean hands together.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Paradoxicombinations

I know talk about this a lot, but I really like paradoxical combinations. Mashing together seemingly absurd or self-contradictory things to create something pleasant fascinates me. I just watched this video and appreciate that Jay-Z can combine Kenny G's instrument with phat (pronounced: fat) beats and make it hot.


I'm drawn to Jesus because his absurd call to change the world through self-sacrifice and servanthood creates tiny nuns who do just that. M.T. is a classic, paradoxical mash-up. Frail yet powerful.


I really like it when the result of a paradoxical combo can redefine the original. The word "prom" used to mean an event that I'm glad I'll never have to go again. But now, because of a contradictory combination of celebrating the uncelebrated, I am thrilled that The Prom happens every year.


Or who would've thought combining Tom Cruise with Ludacis could create something so beautiful? If you haven't seen the credits for Tropic Thunder you should pop over to youtube and check them out.


I know some people who think syrup and eggs and cheese and pancakes and sausage and love don't go together. Those people are tongueless and silly. The McGriddle is plucked straight from God's hip bone. Holy McMash-up.


Think about any good love story. Opposites attract, paradoxical peoples find love and spend their lives complimenting each other. Leah and I polar opposites in so many ways. She's a fly by the seat of her pantsuit, freelancing, adaptable woman. While I am organized, precise, planned-out, and full of structure. Classic, match-made-in-heaven, paradoxical mash-up.


This post is a paradoxicombination. Jay-Z + Mother Teresa + McGriddles. I don't know about you, but I'm stuffed.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

My left, your right

Why aren't you walking?

It's kind of hard with you standing on me.

I'm too fat?

Stop.

You stop.

Ok.

Why are you mad at me?

I'm not mad. I just... how did you lose your shoes? That makes no sense to me.

I was by the fountain and my feet hurt.

K.

So I took them off there and I guess some homeless pervert stole them while I wasn't looking.

Why would a homeless guy want your shoes? That's dumb.

I don't know, Eric. There's a whole black market where they sell stuff.

An underground shoe store.

Among other things, yes.

Well, where is this black market? I need some stuff.

Can we just go home? My feet hurt.

Alright. Lift your left leg a little...no...my left, your right...there we go. Alright, now your left.

Are people watching?

Absolutely.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Living Photographs

Have you heard of this art form? I stumbled upon this portrait of Chris and his teacup. It's perhaps the weirdest thing I've seen in awhile. I'm no Ms. Cleo, but I would bet anything that living photographs will one day fill our museums . I decided to try it. Chris seemed to have a real ball creating his. He doesn't seem angry and full of forehead demons at all.



Thursday, September 17, 2009

Calle Ocho: Old Lady Mash-up

Warning: This is stupider than most of my stupid posts. But this ghetto youtube mashing is really giving me a bang. 1. make sure you mute the second video. 2. hit play on the first and when he's done talking at the beginning, hit play on the second vid.



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Marshmallow Test

This video (I think) was created by a Christian production company to make a statement on temptation. I'll admit, that's where my brain first went. I started thinking how I could make a clever statement like, "Today it's marshmallows, tomorrow it's porn, pot and panini presses." But then I decided to turn off that annoying part of my brain and just enjoy this video for what it is- cute freaking kids who are cuckoo for marshmallows.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Brule's Rules

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Papermation

This is crazy cool. If you know how to do this papermation stuff you call me. Right now. We'll make paper magic together. I'll pay you in ice cream sandwiches.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Gotta Feeling Teletubbies mash-up

Am I nuts, or does "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas sound like something Barney and/or the Teletubbies would dance to? I decided to do a ghetto fabulous mash-up to see. Mute the Tubbies vid and pump up the Peas song and play them at the same time. I gotta feeling this will change your life.



Monday, September 7, 2009

Dear Notre Dame

Dear Notre Dame,

First of all, you're a bunch of turds. You know that deep down. But let's not focus on the negative facts. Let's focus on the positive facts. Like how super awesome your head coach is. I'm no expert, and I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, but I think step one you should sign Chuck to a lifetime contract. Step two, install a treadmill in his office and implement a strict fast food ban so he can live for another 20 years. I know this suggestion may seem like a contradictory statement for me. But I know when to eat humble pie. I had Chuck all wrong. He's seriously super awesome. He coached for Bill Belichick. He won a Super Bowl. That clearly justifies hiring him. So...just keep him. Forever.

Sure you may have seen the Bearcats dismantle Rutgers today and thought, "Hmmm, that Brian Kelly sure seems like a super awesome coach." Stop right there. He's no Chuck Weis. Brian Kelly is a flash in the pan. We'll do the whole nation a favor and keep the loser around for the rest of his life. We Bearcats are self-sacrificing.

I know you're thinking, "But, Brad. Brian Kelly's offense is unstoppable." Um. Two words. Knute Rockne. His ghost will haunt your campus if you try and run Kelly's mambypamby commi ball. Stick with Chuck because of another two words. Super Bowl.

You're also probably thinking, "But, Brad. BK's players sure seem like stand up guys. We saw tons of them with Bible verses scribbled on their arms and eye-black thingys. We're a Catholic school. We love that kind of crap." Uh. Not so fast. The last thing you want is a bunch of Sunday school, goody two-shoes. Hard-nosed jerks who cuss like sailors (Lou Holtz) win championships. Let the sharpie tattooed Nancies like Tim Tebow go hug babies in the Philipines. Notre Dame is about winning football.

You say you noticed that Brian Kelly turns around every program he takes over? Coincidence. Super freaky, consistent coincidence. And again, I can't emphasize this enough; winning the Big East Championship in your second year doesn't compare to winning a Super Bowl as an assistant coach. Super Bowl rings are so much bigger.

So to summarize. Chuck Weis forever, Brian Kelly never. Thanks. You're welcome for the insights.

bw

Friday, September 4, 2009

The League of Elite Bros

I'm in the process of starting a brand new hall of fame. There's halls for sports and pretty much everything else under the sun. I'd like to start one for Elite Bros. These bros are aces among a world of pawns. They're the coolest, raddest, baddest bros to ever live. Here's a few nominees the committee is considering this year.


Check out the hair gradient on those thighs. Elite.


Magic potion came out of that horn. Everyone in that club that night turned into the coolest person they knew. For like a week. Then it wore off. But still.


Howl at the moon? More like own the moon. Take a trip to spaceland and this guy will make you pay a toll. He also sleeps standing up. Elite.


He almost makes you want lung cancer.


He's awesome at basketball, dancing and surfing on vans. He's a teenager dealing with puberty and wolferty. That's a lot to manage.


I'm not afraid to admit RDJ is my man crush. Dear Diary, RDJ eats oranges like an apple. Make a note to do the same next time I'm around citrus. XOXOXO bw


Zorro is the most super elite of all superhero bros. Unlike the wannabe elite bro, Superman, both of Zorro's personas are cool. All graffiti artists bow down to Zorro. He tags with swords and fire. Enough said.


I'm not sure if RoboCop was all make believe or just an actor who got REALLY type-casted and hence hasn't gotten any work since. Either way he's tamed this unicorn which as we all know, is the most elite of all horses due to its built-in spear.


Bo knows. He's been knowing stuff for so long it's bananas. He was seeing dead people long before Haley Joel. He was all, "Bruce Willis is dead, people. Wake up. That's the M. Night's big twist. La dee da." Just look at this poster. It's like sportsporn for bros.


Second to Miles Davis, Steve McQueen is the coolest cat to ever step off a hot tin roof. He drove fast cars super fast to meet fast women in fast cities. He could make a Toyota Corsica look rad.


The Gator Whisperer. He spoke their language. Legend goes that he turned some into dancers (the charleston, mostly) and others telegraph operators. G-Dub was odd, but elite.



Nolan threw two kinds of dairy. 1. The High Cheese. 2. Ear Cheddar. He's baseball's Daniel Boone.


Lasers shoot from his eyes. This is a no brainer.


This guy taught this bear how to ride a motorbike and lived long enough to watch happen. My hunch is, once the training wheels came off for this pic, the bear packed his trainer and a loaf of rye into a picnic basket and took off for the Hamptons. The hero sandwich was born.



The first rule of fight club is Tyler Durden looks best shirtless. But his sense of style is so rad that every now and again you don't mind if he's clothed. But mostly you want him to pop that shirt and go skins.