"" bshawise: February 2009

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Vacation Lessons

Lessons learned on vacation:

Don't get a LAND and SEA passport card. Get the real kind. Otherwise the AIRlines won't give you the AIR ticket you paid for. And you'll have to watch your friends leave for paradise while you figure out what you're gonna do for a week in the Heartland. (this happened to three people the morning we left)

We naturally gravitate towards a routine of some kind even in new environments.

Sunshine devours stress. Tequila helps too.

Sunshine and tequila make people buy silly (regrettable) things like pink straw cowboy hats and shirts that say, "I Love To Fart- Cancun." I saw lots of people in the airport going home who were wearing things that'll end up in Goodwills across America.

American males are either embarrassed of and/or stingy with their upper thighs. Every other nationality is not. They share them freely with the world.

People LOVE omelets. Every morning there were long lines of hungry tourists staring at the omelet man.

Birds are impatient for humans to wake up. Maybe they're bored? Maybe they're ready to eat our dropped crumbs and morsels? Regardless, they shout A LOT in the morning and ruin the peaceful song the ocean + shore are trying to hum.

Germans LOVE dominos. These two old men played them for five hours straight everyday. I guess it's not fair to stereotype all Germans as domino-lovers. Sorry, Germans.

Lots and lots of people are unhappy with their skin color/shade. They invest lots of time and money (nice smelling oils aren't free) trying to change color.

Head scarves and giant sunglasses can make almost any woman look fabulous (in a hot pirate kind of way).

It's fun to guess what people do for a living when they're wearing swimsuits. I saw one guy who is either CIA or a battery salesman.

Married couples should figure out how to have vacation sex at home. If you're married and don't know what vacation sex is you need to go on vacation. Now.

Firemen are called Bomberos in Mexico. America should take note and institute a name change.

I have the same shoes as a breakdancing jujitsu drummer dude. This makes me strangely happy.

When you take a break from your cellphone, wallet, shoes, socks, watch, laptop you realize what a load those things are both literally and figuratively when you put them back "on."

Sunshine should come visit us here in Ohio more often. We're good people. We're polite. We like Vitamin D as much as anyone else. What the heck, Sunshine? Why you such a hater?

All inclusive vacations are fun. For 4.5 days. After that I think you'd start feeling like those carp in tiny concrete ponds.

It's good to be home. Dorothy was onto something. The view of Cincinnati from Kentucky softens the gray blow. Maybe that's why they put the airport out in the middle Bluegrass Nowhere.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Need Input

Leah and I leave tomorrow morning for Cancun. We will soak sun, sip silly drinks, sleep in and slosh around the pool for five glorious days. Leah has been reading me their weather report every day for two weeks now. I've heard people say, "I SO NEED a vacation." I don't feel that need per se. But I do feel the need to fast from this computer. I realized the other day when I was preparing for the writing workshop that for the past year I've done a lot more outputting than inputting. I've abandoned one of my favorite things: reading. So this coming week I'm pulling a Johnny5. I'm going to forget the internet exists and get lost in some good fiction. I do in fact SO NEED that. I am also excited to start the RESET personal guide in such a "secluded" atmosphere. I think I'll really be able to get lost in the book of Luke and this concept of resetting my assumptions of Jesus. I NEED that as well. Need input.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Animated Seinfeld

These guys reinterpret scenes from Seinfeld using animation. Pretty cool. Found them at this new site: www.eGuiders.com

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Old School

Isaac and I found an old school nintendo on the internets this week. We shot a video for work yesterday. Plugging that thing in and pressing start on Super Mario Bros. was like time-traveling. So many memories. Much time was spent in our unfinished basement playing this joy box. Brenty, remember Paperboy? Wow.

I still suck at video games. I died at the first little mushroom demon like three times. Leah is pretty good though. We played after we finished shooting the video. I love my job.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Terry's Turf Club

Have you been to Appalachia's Las Vegas? Considering it? Check out a few people's review here. And...if we're lucky...maybe Leah will share her story (via comments section) about her recent conversation about TTC down in Daytona. (She won't and she'll get mad at me for writing this. But I don't care because I'm really proud of her)

Monday, February 16, 2009

Tuba Wolf

Two men set out this past Thursday evening with two unique yet similar missions. One man wanted to make a video so ridiculous that billions of people would watch and Oprah/Ellen would invite him on their show thus resulting in his wife becoming BFFs with said talk show hosts. Love was his mission. The other man wanted the world to stop hating wolves so much. He wanted orphans (with hi-speed internet connections) to know that wolves are dancing-machines not killing-machines. Love was mission as well. We hope you enjoy the fruits of our labor mission and help us accomplish our love mission. Mission impossible you ask? Not when love is a missionary. Not when love is a missionary.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Writing Workshop

Tuesday evening I'm opening up a couple doors and turning on a few lights for folks to come have a quasi-organized creative outlet. I'm "hosting" a writing workshop and I would love it if you came. It'll be fun and laid back, perfect for non-writers and closet-novelists alike. I don't profess to know a whole lot, but I do know that for whatever reason it's fun to get together with some people and be creative for an hour and a half. Bring your laptop and/or journal + pen. For ages 16-103. I promise you'll be glad you came.

Meet me at the Student Union @ VCC, this Tuesday from 7-8:30pm.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Sneak Peak

I don't want to get everyone too excited but here's a few screenshots of wiseday productions' debut music video. Coming soon to flash players near you. Oprah get ready.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Is this real life?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Oh yeah...one more thing.

In a couple weeks almost 50 churches in Cincinnati are going on a spiritual journey. Part of said journey is to join a small group of folks and meet weekly (think book/wine club). So I woke up yesterday feeling extravertish. I was inspired by a friend over at Crossroads who joined a group of strangers in hopes of meeting some people. So I looked into the guys groups listed on Crossroads' website. The whole thing felt very strange, like a dating service or something. I wanted to quit numerous times. Basically, you read a description of the group and if you like what you read you email them and say, "hey, i like you. do you like me?"

One of the groups that sounded intriguing was one that said they were into sports. Me. They meet in Mt. Adams. I have neighborhood envy of Mt. Adams. We're off to a good start. Then they said, "we're looking to reach out to dudes in our city." Something about that didn't fit my style. I use the word, "dudes" in the same way I use, "bros." So I passed on that group. I found another that seemed more my style and sent them a cyber-note and asked them to check yes or no.

Woke up today feeling self-conscious about the whole thing. I went back to the site and looked at the groups again. The Mt. Adams sports fans updated their listing. They added this sentence: "This group is for gay / bi men who view church as an important part of their life." Fairly important sentence I think.

I'm not writing this to make judgements or anything weird like that. I LOVE that this group exists. My point is that I just don't meet that criteria and it seems like pretty important criteria to mention from the get go. It would be like if these sports fans in Mt. Adams forgot to mention that Star Trek is a huge part of their life. I don't have any problem with Star Trek. Some of my really good friends are huge into the Star Trek. It's just not my thing. So if I showed up to a group that forgot to tell me they go to the conventions, have the dolls, etc. there would be a disconnect between us from the start.

Or let's say that it doesn't come up the first meeting. We talk about the weather in Mt. Adams and the Bengals. But, they would probably assume that I too love Star Trek, right? Why else would I be there? So, things go well and they invite me over to watch movies. So I assume they're going to pop in Jerry Maguire, Tin Cup, Major League. They're the sports fans from Mt. Adams. I may even wear my Bearcats hat to show them my sports fandom. So I roll in and instead of rocking Ocho Cinco jerseys they're all wearing Spok shirts and watching The Wrath of Khan. Not that there's anything wrong with Khan. I was just expecting Dorn.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Balloon Brainstorm

I have such a strange job. I recently bought a few weather balloons and today inflated one (at the end of the video you'll see a yet-to-be-inflated 16ft monster). My original use for them isn't going to work out. But I want to use them in a video or in a celebration here at the vineyard. How cool would it be to bounce it around beach ball style in church? So, I need your help in brainstorming ideas / metaphors / analogies that would justify using these ginormous beauties either in a video or live. Whatchu got?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I spend a lot of time at work pairing things together that don't seem (at first glance) to be natural pairs. Metaphors to illustrate points. Songs that can take on new meanings in videos. Words that can be used to brand things in a new way. This translates to food as well. Often times I combine flavors that Leah initially scoffs at and later scarfs up. So tonight's pairings are for your digital delight. Each photo has a song that compliments it in its own, unique way. I humbly ask that you sample each one. You may find the pairings pleasurable. You may find them positively pointless. Either way, eat up.





Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009

Strangely Rad

If there were a button that could make everything strangely rad, you would press it wouldn't you? I would. And I bet mounty cops would instantly be mounted on zebras instead of boring old brown steeds. I also bet that everyone who didn't already have their collar popped would get popped. Everyone who owned Corollas would own El Caminos. The rascal-driving elderly would get blessed with ground effects and murdered out rims. Bears would develop meat allergies and adhere to a strict honey diet that their friend Pooh has been pushing for years. Christopher Robin could finally go to Pooh's family reunions and not worry about death. Accordion sales would skyrocket and save our economy. Kids everywhere could polka outside of their closets. We'd see more moose around our neighborhoods. They'd give a friendly nod whenever we pointed at them. You'd learn to BMX if you always wanted to as a kid but were too busy delivering newspapers and selling lemonade to even think about hobbies. I bet those people exist. And I can't say for sure, but I'd bet a nickel the Frito Kid would become everyone's mailman. He'd hand you your bills and a pouch of corn chips and you'd share a laugh about this crazy mixed-up world.

(my blood sugar might be low)