Lively Exchange

Leah and I were reading a conversation between God and Job. You can check out the whole thing here. The exchange absolutely fascinates me. It also hits pretty close to home. So I wanted to take a few parts and paraphrase it.

Here's the quick backstory. Satan and God kind of make a bet. Satan thinks Job serves God simply because God protects him and allows Job to be healthy, wealthy and wise. So God progressively removes that protection for a bit, allowing Satan to take his wealth, his children, and his physical health. Job doesn't curse God but he does, at length, wax choleric about God's unfairness and absence. Finally, God answers Job from the eye of a violent storm.

Why do you talk about things you have no idea about? Pull yourself together, man. Get on your feet! Seriously, stand up! I have some questions for you and I want some straight answers.

Where were you when I created the earth? Tell me, since you know so much!
Who decided its size? Certainly you'll know that!
Who came up with the blueprints and measurements?
Who took charge of the ocean when it gushed forth like a baby from the womb?
THAT WAS ME.
I wrapped it in soft clouds, and tucked it in safely at night. Then I made a playpen for it, a strong playpen so it couldn't run loose. I said, "Stay here. This is your place."
Have you ever been to the true bottom of things, Job? Have you explored the labyrinthine caves of deep ocean?
Do you know the first thing about death? Do have one clue regarding its dark mysteries?
Do you have any idea how large this earth is? Speak up if you have even the beginning of an answer.
Have you ever traveled to where snow is made?
Could you find your way to where lightning is launched?
Who do you think carves canyons and waters the fields?
Who do you think is the father of rain and dew, the mother of ice and frost? You don't imagine these marvels of weather just happen, do you?

Who do you think taught the lioness to hunt in order to feed her cubs?
Who gave wild animals their freedom? Who has the power to tell the buffalo what to do and when to do it? You?
Did you give the horse his prowess and shimmering mane? Did you create him to prance proudly and strike terror with his royal snorts?
Was it through your know-how that the hawk learned to soar?
Did you teach eagles how to build their nests in the high cliff face?

Now what do you have to say for yourself? Are you going to haul me, the Mighty One, into court and press charges?

Job answered: "I'm speechless, in awe. Words fail me. I never should've opened my mouth. I've talked too much, WAY too much. I'm ready to shut up and listen.

God continues with his lashing.

I have some more questions for you. Do you presume to tell me what I'm doing wrong? Seriously. I'm wrong and you're right, that's what you're saying?
Do have an arm like my arm?
Can you shout in thunder the way I can.
Go ahead, show your stuff. Let's see what you're made of, what you can do.
Unleash your outrage. Target the arrogant and lay them flat. Stop the wicked in their tracks. Kill them all and put them into a huge, unmarked grave.
I'll gladly step aside and hand things over to you- you can surely save yourself with no help from me!
Look around. I created everything on land. I tell them what to do.
I created everything in the ocean. Everything! They too are my pets. Even the terrible beasts you've never seen.
Can you control such things? No. You couldn't. How then do you think you can stand up to me?
Who can confront me and get away with it?
I am in charge of ALL this!
I run this universe!

Job answers: "I'm convinced. You can do everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears! I'm sorry—forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise! I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."

I like to picture God having a little sidekick/buddy inside that storm cloud who ended this exchange with a fitting, "Awwwww snap."