My senior year of college we took a road trip for our spring break. Little pips and tiny squeaks were going to Panama City for a week of jello shots and crotch-to-crotch dancing. That was so literally sophomoric. We were epic. And mature. So we went to China. Just kidding. We were epic lite and went to the Grand Canyon. That was our only real plan. Head West and find adventure. Ryan's parents let us borrow their conversion van. Gordon's parents let us borrow Gordon.
Here are a few moments that became rememberies. (BOOM- I just made up a word.)
We stumbled upon an Irish pub in St. Louis that served entire pitchers of beer for a quarter. That enabled us to spend the night dancing with Refrigerator Perry's daughters (figuratively speaking).
We watched the Bearcats lose in their typical March-fashion to UCLA on St. Patricks Day in Flagstaff, Arizona. We sipped Guinness as a 13 year-old bagpipe virgin terrorized our ear drums. His insane mother/teacher thought it made perfect sense to hold his first lesson in public. It sounded like he was torturing a goose. And maybe he's gotten better since then, but that day he was the worst thing to ever happen to music.
We camped in Sedona, AZ after a day of hiking the red rocks. When we got to the site and set up camp we needed firewood. Instead of buying it for like $3 we decided to march into the forest and find a batch of logs the campsite manager said existed. He told us the electric company downed a mess of trees as they cleared the way for a new line. The campsite manager was being a jerk I think. The logs were literally over the river/creek, thru the woods and up a monster hill. And they were the size of bass drums. And they were half granite. So we ended up throwing the half ton logs back down the hill, hauled them over the creek and up to our site. It was easily the most exhausting day of my life. Those big boys burned good did their best to keep us warm that night as the temperature dipped to about 20 degrees. We slept in our winter coats and shoes inside of sleeping bags and almost died. The moral of the story is we saved $3. We invested that money in the stock market (bought shares in the internet) and now we're filthy rich. Totally worth it.
We made it to the Grand Canyon and there was snow and fog everywhere. You couldn't see more than a few feet in front of you. We were slightly depressed that we drove all that way to see fog. We were freezing, sore and tired. All we kept thinking about was the pips and squeaks in Panama City. But then, like a Christmas miracle, the fog evaporated. We were the groom, the canyon our arranged-marriage bride, and we watched as her veil got lifted revealing a craggy beauty that left us breathless. We spent the next few hours throwing snow balls into our bride's mouth. It was intimate and beautiful. Then Tyler looked at a map and told us we could be in San Diego in five hours. Our sunshine-lust clouded our judgement and caused us to believe him. We jumped in the van and drove thru the night.
Nearly ten hours later (and a brief, border patrol scare) we woke up in San Diego. Shockingly, Tyler was way off. We had slept/parked on the street in a super swank neighborhood and that morning stumbled out of the van for a stretch in the California sun. Rich ladies walking their dogs didn't know what to make of a conversion van with horns tied to the front grill and four grizzly Adams lurking amongst their stucco mansions. We left for the beach. Ryan and I soaked it all in while Gordy and Tyler did laundry. That's how they celebrated our 44 hour pilgrimage. They machine-washed their thunderpanties inside a florescent-lit laundromat. I'm still dumbstruck by that move.
So my next few posts are going to be Point of View Experiments. I'll take these little vignettes and tell the same story from a different point of view. It'll be fun for me and probably boring for you. So...tune in later when I go back to posting the mind-blowing videos you've grown to love and need to survive.
My Dad
1 year ago
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