The Decision

This is my final post on Blogger. I'm taking my talents to Tumblr. I'm certain the president/owner of Blogger is going write me a scathing letter in comic sans. And fans of Blogger will call me Quitness. I'm sorry. I'm a lousy traitor. But from here on out you can find my nonsense on:

http://bshawise.tumblr.com

For those of you wondering why I'm changing teams. There are a few reasons.

1. My 8 ft. tall, iron-bending Swedish friend convinced me to.

2. It's a lot easier to use.

3. It's Facebook meets Twitter meets Blogger. So now that I have an account I can start following people and their posts show up in my "news feed." So it feels like the wild west of visual discovery. I can reblog things I like with a click of a button. It's like a digital potluck.

There is one negative. You can't comment in Tumblr. It's not like that happened a ton here on Blogger. But I do really like to hear from the five of you. So if you ever feel the need to comment you can always email me. I'd love that.

That's all. Come visit me in south beach.

Rusty Sea Beast

Inspiro: Pigeon & Edward

PIGEON

Your mom’s face is acting rude.

EDWARD

That doesn’t make- you know what? Just be quiet. You’re embarrassing yourself.

PIGEON

Oh, is that what I’m doing?

EDWARD

Yes.

PIGEON

I’m embarrassing myself.

EDWARD

Big time.

PIGEON

Well, what if I do this?

EDWARD

What? Oh my word. Why would you-

PIGEON

Is this embarrassing?

EDWARD

You’re pooping everywhere.

PIGEON

Oopsie. This must be so embarrassing for me.

EDWARD

(to Mexican President Felipe Calderon)

Lo siento, Sr. Presidente.

PIGEON

Yeah! So siento! Siento mucho grande por favor! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

EDWARD

Sr. Presidente, la paloma es actuar como un loco. Perdonarlo.

PIGEON

Tell him he should see what it looks like when I have una gordita.

EDWARD

I am going to.... deep fry you when we get home.

PIGEON

Your mom would like that.

(to President Cauldron)

His mamá es muy grande, señor! Mucho junko in el trunko. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

EDWARD

Lo siento, Sr. Presidente. Perdonarlo. Perdonarlo.

(to Pigeon)

I hate you so much.

PIGEON

Whatever. You love me. You love me long time.

EDWARD

Stop talking. I'm begging you.

7

Wanna see the seven most recent pics on my iPhone?

Adele- Rolling in the Deep

I could spend the rest of my life making videos like this. Big thanks to Leah for making me come into the TV room on Saturday morning to see VH1 play this amazing piece of art.

Inspiro Invitation Fail

Well, I received exactly zero replies to my, "come play Inspiro with me" invitation. What that tells me is that I'm a huge loser. So, with the following submissions, I am the nerdy kid playing dodgeball against a swing at recess. Deja vu all over again.

Just When You Thought We Couldn't Get Any Dumber...

...we go and make this video.

Wanna Play Inspiro w/ Me?

Create something based on either of these scenarios and send it to me. I'll post it with whatever randomness I come up with. It's fun times. Promise.

Click here to download:

ATT00001.c (0 KB)

Click here to download:

ATT00002.c (0 KB)

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Inspiro #3

RICHARD
Say, Cleves. Isn’t that your lady friend?

CLEVES
What? Where?

RICHARD
Down the road there. Past the infirmary tents.

CLEVES
By jove it is.

RICHARD
She runs quite odd, doesn’t she?

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
It’s like she’s wading through porridge.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Like her legs are tied to cannon balls.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
I'm quite confused. I mean, she’s running....but just....incredibly slow. Terrifically slow, Cleves.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Why?

CLEVES
She says it’s dramatic.

RICHARD
What?

CLEVES
She hears music.

RICHARD
Music, Cleves?

CLEVES
Strings and choirs, sir. She says the audience loves it.

RICHARD
What in God’s name are you talking about? Cleves! We’re in the middle of a quite unpleasant war with the British pigs and your girlfriend is running towards us like a deranged wagon wheel popped off its axel.

CLEVES
Yes. I’ll remind her she looks quite silly.

RICHARD
Terrifically silly, Cleves.... Tragically silly.

CLEVES
The British are coming.

RICHARD
Pardon?

CLEVES
The British. They’re a hundred meters behind me lady. Marching in stark contrast to her porridge trot.

RICHARD
Ah, yes. I see them now. You can understand why I was distracted.

CLEVES
I can sir.

RICHARD
Time for war I guess.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Give us liberty, eh Cleves?

CLEVES
Or death, sir. Although, I’d rather have the liberty.

RICHARD
Indeed. And know that I'll do my best to avoid shooting your girlfriend.

CLEVES
Thank you, sir.

Floods Are Fun

Christmas came early for Miss and the Hound over at the dog park. They played a fun game of abominable swamp thing for a good 30 minutes. Luckily I didn't bring towels.

Download now or watch on posterous

IMG_0787.MOV (2049 KB)

Click here to download:

ATT00001.c (0 KB)

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Inspiro #2

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from Brad's posterous

Inspiro

I downloaded this app yesterday. It's an idea generator. I thought it'd be a fun writing tool. You press the button and it combines words together in ways that may trigger creativity. My first "Scenario" was this:

A turkey writing love letters to a paraplegic.

Here's what I wrote:

Dear Tom,

Sorry to hear about your paraplegia. My cousin had that once. He ended up getting honey dumped all over him and smoked to death. I sincerely hope that doesn’t happen to you. I hear it’s a real stinker. Are you laughing as hard as I am right now? Stinker. Get it? ‘Cause of the smoke. Sometimes I crack myself up. Anyways...

I guess I’m writing because you gotta be just bored out of your mind. I figured a letter from the turkey living in your back 40 might brighten your day. How many of your non-paraplegic friends can say they got a handwritten letter from a turkey? Exactly. So yeah, hang in there. If you’re gonna lay around all day you might consider asking someone you trust to cover you in leaves or branches or blankets that look like leaves. Last thing you want is for some gun-toting hillbilly to find you lazing around. Chances are pretty good he’ll shoot your face off and not even feel bad about it. Life is tough. Just do it. (I’m trying to remember the Gatorade slogan. Seems applicable.) Dangit, I’m drawing a blank.

Alright. Feels like I should close this awesome letter (sarcasm!) with saying, “Love, Turkey.” But we’ve actually never met. And I don’t see you walking your back 40 anytime soon. So...

Casually Concerned But Open To Deeper Feelings Someday,
-Turkey

Held Down By The Man

First they outlaw 4loko. Now they arrest Bearcat for a little winter gaiety. Next thing you know they're gonna start deporting straight A students who want to go to college and serve in the military. Laws are weird.

Um....

The internet showed me a photo more confusing than the pee stain photo I took a few days ago.

Bad Aim

Firstly, this isn’t my pee splatter stain. I have to pee sitting down. House rules. Just kidding. I pee outside. Man rules. Just kidding. Quit asking me about where and how I pee. That’s none of your business. The point is, this happened. Someone peed on top of the urinal. I have a few guesses how this happened...

1. A distracted giant.
2. A blind giant.
3. A kid playing swords on a ladder.
4. A super poor graffiti artist.
5. A rotten hound named Lola snuck out of our house, dodged lots of traffic and claimed this urinal.
5. A drunk giant talking to his blind twin brother.
6. An abstract pee painter.
7. A humming bird with human-sized bladder.

(do humming birds pee? serious question)

Posted via email from Brad's posterous