Inspiro #3

RICHARD
Say, Cleves. Isn’t that your lady friend?

CLEVES
What? Where?

RICHARD
Down the road there. Past the infirmary tents.

CLEVES
By jove it is.

RICHARD
She runs quite odd, doesn’t she?

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
It’s like she’s wading through porridge.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Like her legs are tied to cannon balls.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
I'm quite confused. I mean, she’s running....but just....incredibly slow. Terrifically slow, Cleves.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Why?

CLEVES
She says it’s dramatic.

RICHARD
What?

CLEVES
She hears music.

RICHARD
Music, Cleves?

CLEVES
Strings and choirs, sir. She says the audience loves it.

RICHARD
What in God’s name are you talking about? Cleves! We’re in the middle of a quite unpleasant war with the British pigs and your girlfriend is running towards us like a deranged wagon wheel popped off its axel.

CLEVES
Yes. I’ll remind her she looks quite silly.

RICHARD
Terrifically silly, Cleves.... Tragically silly.

CLEVES
The British are coming.

RICHARD
Pardon?

CLEVES
The British. They’re a hundred meters behind me lady. Marching in stark contrast to her porridge trot.

RICHARD
Ah, yes. I see them now. You can understand why I was distracted.

CLEVES
I can sir.

RICHARD
Time for war I guess.

CLEVES
Yes.

RICHARD
Give us liberty, eh Cleves?

CLEVES
Or death, sir. Although, I’d rather have the liberty.

RICHARD
Indeed. And know that I'll do my best to avoid shooting your girlfriend.

CLEVES
Thank you, sir.