Underwatermelon

I see six logical explanations.

1. Mermaid picnic.

2. Hipster parents think bobbin' for apples is so 1920.

3. Dumb kid has never eaten watermelon.

4. Smart kid has eaten it a lot and figured out how to avoid the mess.

5. He's playing Vegan Sharks and winning.

6. The underwater banana feast felt awkward.

"New" Mumford

These guys render me speechless.



Tyler, this one's for you. Amazing.



I LOVED this movie as a kid and vividly remember how sad this part is.

Nighttimes

Things that went through my mind last night at 3am when Miss Jackson started half-barking and ran downstairs but then eventually got eerily quiet:

Shut up.
Seriously, I'm tired.
Maybe there's robbers.
Maybe there's robbers who gave her poison-covered treats to shut her up.

I got up, called her, she ran back upstairs, looked at me, then ran back down doing that half-bark thing. So I went to bed and Leah posed a theory that Miss might be dying. Things that went thru my mind before and after grabbing a candlestick (seriously) and going downstairs:

That would suck if she died. I like her.
At least we'd have Lola.
She's long and silly.
There still may be robbers.
Robbers who are super quiet and whose poison treats are so good that Miss went back for more.
I don't have any weapons up here.
I could grab a shampoo bot- don't be ridiculous. Too soft.
Oh look, a candlestick.
Wow, it's kind of heavy.
Please don't be robbers.
Hey, Miss.
You wanna go outside? K.
Stop eating grass.
Seriously. Come back in here.
I feel silly holding this candlestick.

RSVPs Confuse the Hound

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IMG_0523.MOV (789 KB)

Lola keeps waiting for Miss Jackson to join her for sweet tea and pork knuckles out on The Bistro. Miss J politely declines 100% of the time.

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Tricky Raccoon

It's pathetic how much this combo cracks me up.

World Cup

I'm sad the World Cup ends today. I really liked feeling connected to something so big for the past month. I loved the hum of the vuvuzelas. I loved learning and asking questions about something new. I loved how pretty Ronaldo was/is. I love this official anthem and its chorus that I like to over-spiritualize: When I get older, I will be stronger. They'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag. And today, I'm going to love winning five bucks from JBoog when La Furia Roja dominate the Dutch.

The Seven Hills Collection by Leah Wise

I've long said that my wife is an artist. It comes out thru her food, her fashion, her humor, and her projects. She has sensibilities that are unique and delicious on a variety of levels. So I am quite excited that she's taking her artistry to the streets, internet style. Obviously I'm biased, but already her blog is knocking my socks. I can't wait for her weekly poems about me. For over five years now she's only read them to me every Tuesday night. Now, she'll share them with you, the world. Check her out...

Vuvuzela

Ordered a couple vuvuzelas for the weekend. I rike my job. Check out my skills.

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video.mov (2308 KB)

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League of Ohio Traitors

Before I say anything about the evil L.O.T. I need to say what everyone is thinking. The Cavs’ owner, Dan Gilbert, wrote a scathing letter to LeBron on their website IN COMIC SANS and thusly deserves to lose LeBron for that fact alone. I didn’t think it possible to top Bron’s doucheness but Dan-O did it with his choice of typeface. Writing an angry letter in comic sans is like trying to poison a rat with a marshmallow PEEP. It’s like cussin’ someone out in a Pee Wee Herman voice. It’s like stabbing a rapist robber with lollipop. Get it together, Dan. You’re embarrassing yourself.

That said, LeBron joined the evil league of Ohio traitors last night. Did you know that? It was on the television. A few people talked about. On television. I know what you’re thinking... you’re thinking what’s the space man doing in the league of traitors? That’s John Glenn. He left Ohio for outer space. You can’t get further away from this great state than that. And then he went on Dancing w/the Stars and wore silk shirts and made everyone nervous he was going to shatter his gas tank. To borrow a term from my amazing wife, Leah (who may enter the blogworld soon) all these men are ding dongs. Treacherous, traitorous ding dongs.

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Kenny vs. Prince

Kenny G and Prince are fighting about the Internet. Prince says "It's dead, lover." Kenny says, "You're dead, mother."