"" bshawise: 3:15

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Things you could do in three hours and 15 minutes:

Travel from the Nati to the armpit of America. Toledo, Ohio.

Crunch your way thru or just watch 8-minute abs 24.375 times and still look chubby..

Marinate various meats in various savory liquids.

Count really high.

Watch Michael Corleone go from apathetic son to vengeful mob boss.

Watch Sugarland and their good friend Beyonce bless the world with a heaven-birthed collaboration 50ish times.

Actually participate the multiple ways one can skin a cat.

Make it through the line at the polls on November 4th?

Watch part of a baseball game.

Help that poor woodchuck chuck wood.

Crack corn with Jimmy and not even care.

Begin your eternal dirt nap after your three hour and 14 minute hike leads you to a bear.

Run 26.2 miles thru the streets of Columbus. That is if you have the fleet feet that my boy JP has. His first ever marathon and he ran 26 CONSECUTIVE miles at a insane pace of 7:28/mile. We saw him at mile 19 in front of my friend Hoffmann's house. He stopped for a couple packets of liquid carbohydrates. He was out of it. It felt a lot like when I tried talking to him at 2am on a Friday night in college. He was totally stoned. Binge jogging. I wished him luck, watched him run off (towards glory) and then went and got myself another piece of bacon and cup of coffee. Watching marathons is exhausting.


John Arns said...

if toledo is one of the armpits, where is the other ?
just trying to position the body of America and her corresponding parts.

Clarke said...

pretty sure i know the other armpit john... it's called cleveland. having experienced both cities first hand, i can tell you that they are indeed, both armpits.

bshawise said...

'Merica actually lost her right arm in a nasty fireworks accident. So she's only got one pit. And it stinks.

John Arns said...

ewwwww.... yick pooey pooey