Mess With The Hound and You Get Humped

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Between Two Ferns

I love Between Two Ferns. This might be my favorite yet.
(a few choice words in this one)

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns

Dog Parks = K9 orgy

Turns out the Hound is a whore. But a floppy, wholesome, cute kind of whore. We went to the dog park yesterday. First time ever. She went dognanas. Lots of sniffing new dark places. Lots of unprovoked humping by pent up terriers. Lola was like a freshman with a fake ID and a billion dollars in Panama City. She was like Cookie Monster at a midnight rave in the Tollhouse Factory. Garfield at a lasagna orgy. The whole scene was like when the Teletubbies get that feeling. It was like Scrooge McDuck at a Justin Bieber concert. Curve ball. You thought I was gonna say something about a gold coin vault. Watching Lola race around making new friends was a little like watching this crazed demon.

FlameThrower vs. FlameExtinguisher

A fiery duel between two angry devils.

J.Biebs

It's like his hair is made of hypnotic tractor beams. I can't look away. Even when he's dancing so awesome I can't stop looking at his brown mane. Why is that?


Justin Bieber - Love Me
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Cheerio

On the eve of my sixth wedding anniversary I found myself in a situation I rarely experience. I was at Big Justy's bachelor party and I was one of the eldest statesmen when it came to marriage. Most of the guys there were either single or newly married. A few guys asked me if I had any advice on marriage. They were drunk. I was caught off guard because I'm the one usually asking this question to my older friends. I thought about it for a bit and my answer ended up being simple.

Be your spouse's biggest fan and cheerleader. So when your spouse works up enough courage to share with you a dream/hope/idea your default response should be, "I love it. How do we make it happen?" Don't jump to conclusions about costs (money, time, inconvenience, sacrifice). Jump to solutions. It takes guts to talk about dreams and hopes out loud. Honor that courage. Be an advocate. There's a surplus of critics.

"How To Be Alone" a poem by Tanya Davis

I'm not good at reading poetry. It takes me a couple reads to really get it. This video was good the first go around. The second was even better.

My friends are Benja-mins and the Franka-lins

Do you ever wake up, look out your window, past the ripened fruit, thru the bird-ravaged screen, and see something that gives you the sense that you are the richest bastard to ever live? Doesn't this scene make you want to turn up the Black Eyed Peas, spritz mosquito repellant in the air, and pour champagne all over your hillbilly hound as she swims ten foot laps? You're a dirty liar if you say no.

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Opulence, I has it.

I loves it.



(via r.c. moore)

Magic Hour

Drive along a country road thru cornfields and tiny towns at 3pm and you’ll think, “This is cute I guess.” Make the same drive at 8pm in the summertime and you’ll think, “I would buy this painting. I would bottle this dusk-induced nostalgia. I would pay someone to make a movie of when we rode bikes, played baseball, ate popsicles at this same hour, years ago. I would download the country song about this strange feeling I have when the sunlight shines thru the bug carnage on my windshield and fills the Jeep with its heavy warmth.” We may have to suffer through oppressive humidity in the summer, but our reward is the magic hour. Why does this time of day make me feel so strangely good? Am I the only one?

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