"" bshawise: Cheerio

Sunday, August 8, 2010


On the eve of my sixth wedding anniversary I found myself in a situation I rarely experience. I was at Big Justy's bachelor party and I was one of the eldest statesmen when it came to marriage. Most of the guys there were either single or newly married. A few guys asked me if I had any advice on marriage. They were drunk. I was caught off guard because I'm the one usually asking this question to my older friends. I thought about it for a bit and my answer ended up being simple.

Be your spouse's biggest fan and cheerleader. So when your spouse works up enough courage to share with you a dream/hope/idea your default response should be, "I love it. How do we make it happen?" Don't jump to conclusions about costs (money, time, inconvenience, sacrifice). Jump to solutions. It takes guts to talk about dreams and hopes out loud. Honor that courage. Be an advocate. There's a surplus of critics.


Christopher Day said...

I think that's absolutely brilliant advice. Probably worth repeating when they are sober. After over a decade of marriage and seeing it fall apart, I can say that that advice was much needed along the way. And if BOTH people are on board with it, it could work wonders.

I think often times married folks become roommates with benefits versus being best friends and lovers. There's a big difference.

Daniel Kalbach said...

I love vodka movies.

ylmurph said...

I read this thinking it would have delicious Cheerios recipes...maybe a coupon or two...

I guess advice on keeping a marriage together and strong is good too...but you couldn't throw in a quick snack blurb?