Nick the Giant

I don't know why but this really cracks me up. I can't take credit for it. I found it on the internet. I'm 49% inspired to photoshop other people's faces onto Andre's body. If I end up getting 89% inspired I'll do some post em up here with Nick. Until then, Nick is plenty.

Man vs. Animal Flu

This weekend I was in Omaha, NE for my cousin's wedding and not only did I have to deal with the language barrier, but I'm pretty sure I have squirrel flu. It's not as bad as pig flu but it's worse than your average cold. I maintained a steady intake of uppers, downers, herbs, dietary metallic elements and vitamins just to stay functional. It was a blitzkrieg of liquid confusion that half worked. But, I managed to rally and even dance a little at the reception.

I've decided two things. 1. Once I'm over this I don't want to ever get sick ever never ever again. 2. We all need to start washing our hands like we have OCD. This is a new leaf for me. I've never been an advocate for hand-washing. I'm not opposed to it, obviously. It just hasn't been a priority. Until now. All it took was for my body to get held hostage by squirrel flu to realize how much I dislike germs. And what I realized is that sick people are everywhere. They are touching things with their germ-covered hands. Things that you're going to touch. Then you're gonna get sick and touch things and the vicious germfest gains strength, disables humanity and squirrels and pigs take over the world. Our only defense is hand-washing.

Leah taught me this weekend that you're supposed to wash your hands for :30 seconds. And we're supposed to do that ten times a day. Is that insane or what? They say you should sing the happy birthday song while you scrub. I really hate that song. I won't sing it at your birthday no matter how much I love you. So I found another song option. Sing about Johny, wash those hands obsessively and let's beat this onslaught of animal influenza. The primal, evil genius of birds, squirrels and pigs won't be able to defeat us if we hold our clean hands together.

Paradoxicombinations

I know talk about this a lot, but I really like paradoxical combinations. Mashing together seemingly absurd or self-contradictory things to create something pleasant fascinates me. I just watched this video and appreciate that Jay-Z can combine Kenny G's instrument with phat (pronounced: fat) beats and make it hot.


I'm drawn to Jesus because his absurd call to change the world through self-sacrifice and servanthood creates tiny nuns who do just that. M.T. is a classic, paradoxical mash-up. Frail yet powerful.


I really like it when the result of a paradoxical combo can redefine the original. The word "prom" used to mean an event that I'm glad I'll never have to go again. But now, because of a contradictory combination of celebrating the uncelebrated, I am thrilled that The Prom happens every year.


Or who would've thought combining Tom Cruise with Ludacis could create something so beautiful? If you haven't seen the credits for Tropic Thunder you should pop over to youtube and check them out.


I know some people who think syrup and eggs and cheese and pancakes and sausage and love don't go together. Those people are tongueless and silly. The McGriddle is plucked straight from God's hip bone. Holy McMash-up.


Think about any good love story. Opposites attract, paradoxical peoples find love and spend their lives complimenting each other. Leah and I polar opposites in so many ways. She's a fly by the seat of her pantsuit, freelancing, adaptable woman. While I am organized, precise, planned-out, and full of structure. Classic, match-made-in-heaven, paradoxical mash-up.


This post is a paradoxicombination. Jay-Z + Mother Teresa + McGriddles. I don't know about you, but I'm stuffed.

My left, your right

Why aren't you walking?

It's kind of hard with you standing on me.

I'm too fat?

Stop.

You stop.

Ok.

Why are you mad at me?

I'm not mad. I just... how did you lose your shoes? That makes no sense to me.

I was by the fountain and my feet hurt.

K.

So I took them off there and I guess some homeless pervert stole them while I wasn't looking.

Why would a homeless guy want your shoes? That's dumb.

I don't know, Eric. There's a whole black market where they sell stuff.

An underground shoe store.

Among other things, yes.

Well, where is this black market? I need some stuff.

Can we just go home? My feet hurt.

Alright. Lift your left leg a little...no...my left, your right...there we go. Alright, now your left.

Are people watching?

Absolutely.

Living Photographs

Have you heard of this art form? I stumbled upon this portrait of Chris and his teacup. It's perhaps the weirdest thing I've seen in awhile. I'm no Ms. Cleo, but I would bet anything that living photographs will one day fill our museums . I decided to try it. Chris seemed to have a real ball creating his. He doesn't seem angry and full of forehead demons at all.

Calle Ocho: Old Lady Mash-up

Warning: This is stupider than most of my stupid posts. But this ghetto youtube mashing is really giving me a bang. 1. make sure you mute the second video. 2. hit play on the first and when he's done talking at the beginning, hit play on the second vid.

Marshmallow Test

This video (I think) was created by a Christian production company to make a statement on temptation. I'll admit, that's where my brain first went. I started thinking how I could make a clever statement like, "Today it's marshmallows, tomorrow it's porn, pot and panini presses." But then I decided to turn off that annoying part of my brain and just enjoy this video for what it is- cute freaking kids who are cuckoo for marshmallows.

Brule's Rules

Papermation

This is crazy cool. If you know how to do this papermation stuff you call me. Right now. We'll make paper magic together. I'll pay you in ice cream sandwiches.

I Gotta Feeling Teletubbies mash-up

Am I nuts, or does "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas sound like something Barney and/or the Teletubbies would dance to? I decided to do a ghetto fabulous mash-up to see. Mute the Tubbies vid and pump up the Peas song and play them at the same time. I gotta feeling this will change your life.