The Perfect Gift

Leah got this for my birthday. Amazing gift. Knocked my socks off. So, in attempt to explain how great this gift is, I've put together some visuals for you. It would be like giving the following things to the following people.

Springtime

The oppressive reign of winter is over. There is dancing in the streets. Birds are dropping new albums and fresh singles about freedom and life. Squirrels are having or trying to have sex. Trees are dealing with colorful rashes, beautiful outbreaks, breathtaking acne. Construction crews are digging thru junk drawers in search of scissors to rid their flannels of sleeves. The influx of fresh air thru open windows is embarrassing/outdoing Cherry Bombs and the new car smell. LeBarons and Impalas are seeing their old convertible friends back on the streets. Bears and frisbee golfers are realizing how famished they are. The Beach Boys are picking their silk shirts up from the dry cleaners in preparation for touring season. Husbands are more convinced than ever that a second floor party deck on the roof of their tv room is priority #1. Vision-less wives list what they believe is a Royal Flush of priorities, a cornucopia of boredom. Claustrophobic, sweaty pieces of mulch are breathing easy for the first time since they were pieces of an alive tree. Charcoal is finally feeling useful again. Men are sneaking out to their true loves with their clean, white balls.........and tees. Teenage boys are begging their lawns to die while grade school boys are creating powerpoint presentations on why they're old enough to mow. Dogs are out on walks and seeing new tail their owners won't allow them to chase. Yards everywhere (except ours) are proving Kermit's theory of green-being wrong.

Nice work with Spring, God. The birds shout, "well done."

Cosby

Nothing turns the frowns of a frustrating day upside down like The Cosby Show. I have many words to type about the Cos. Another day perhaps. Here's a few clips I can remember watching as a lil' kid. I loved this Stevie Wonder one even though I had no idea who the blind guy was.

Quote of the Day

Some of you may know that the New Kids On The Block are reuniting. Some of you may subscribe to receive digital updates on this reunion. I can't imagine Leah is the only one. Anyways, news of NKOTB 2.0 was on the television tonight and Leah was excited. Dare I say giggling. She told me (or maybe the New Kids) that "no matter what" she was going to their concert. After convincing me that $200 would be well worth fulfilling a childhood dream, my wife, my favorite person on earth said:

"Brad, I really feel in my heart......(long pause)......that I love them."

She was very serious. And very passionate. And that.......is the QOTD. (perhaps tomorrow's will be something like, "Brad I can't believe you wrote that. I'm so mad at you but you're so cute I can't stay mad let's watch sports and eat chicken wings and decide what to buy me from Victoria's Secret."

FUN STUFF

FUN PRODUCT:

FUN SONG:



FUN FACT:
Early settlers thought the cranberry blossom resembled the head a crane, hence, the name "crane berry," which was shortened to cranberry. Cranberry blossoms, pretty, delicate pink flowers, come out in late June and early July. Small, green fruit develops behind the flower, growing and changing from green to white to dark red through the months of August and September.



FUN GUY:



FUN VIDEO:

Opening Day

I feel like I might have caught Reds fever. I went down to the Opening Day parade. Saw kids on six foot tall unicycles and grown men pushing decorated lawnmowers that spit bubbles. I was impressed with the thousands of people braving the rain. I cannot say the same for the numerous flag squads I saw trailing their marching bands. I've never seen a flag squad do anything in unison besides suck. Why is that? Is it hard to wave flags on beat in groups larger than two? Sorry, not where I was going with this post.

I think I caught the fever. When I was strolling around Fountain Square I found myself wanting to like the Redlegs. I grew up a Cleveland fan but I saw people cheering for the old legends like Robinson and Perez and I felt a pang of healthy jealousy. Groups of friends drinking micro brews and wearing customized jerseys were slapping fives and giving off palpable vibes of intoxicating optimism. I wanted to join them and be like "Hey guys........So.....how about our Cincinnati Redlegs? This is OUR year!!!! Right guys? Guys.......? Oh, we're leaving?.......You're leaving......Yeah, ok, I'll uh......just go over here. Go Reddies!!!!!!" The business man taking a long lunch would tell me that nobody calls them the Reddies. I'd tell him go fax himself and leave, proud of my clever slam. Man, I keep trailing off course with this post. Bottom line: I might try rooting for the Reds a little. Nothing major. No hats or tshirts. If it feels right then maybe. I did see one I liked today.

GO REDDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YeeeeeeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

Follow-Up

Found this on the internet machine this morning. It's a good addendum to the previous post. Nick Cage would never inspire this kind of cleverness.

Inconvenient Truth

Think about this nugget: If Al "the internet" Gore had shown drowning monkeys instead of drowning ferocious bears... global warming would be like Tab. A calorie-free, distant memory. It's all in the casting. I've seen it a thousand hundred times- casting directors make or break movies. Along with earth-saving. Had captain planet cast a monkey to swim around the freezing ocean/die I guarantee that 100% of America's soccer moms would've stopped killing our planet with their enormous SUVs and AquaNet. I mean, imagine if Nicholas Cage were cast as Forest Gump. We would've been hoping for a drunken truck driver to mow him down on that cross country jog. We need a character we can root for. Sadly, a sinking bear wasn't it. An unfortunate, inconvenient truth.

Tuesday Portrait

Sometimes on Tuesdays my wife, Leah paints portraits of me. It's her way of showing me how she feels about me. This is her creation today. The likeness is uncanny. She's so talented. I'm so proud. Of her.