"" bshawise: The Amish

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Amish

Over 'Merica's Weekend I saw two things that fascinate me.

1. Eagles. They soar around, belting out this frightening yet inspiring screech.

2. The Amish. I hate to admit it, but I stare at them hoping that somehow, if I stare hard enough, I'll completely understand their way of life. The buggies, the clothes, the riding around barefoot on flatbed carts pulled by sleek horses, the delicious apple fritters. I would spend weeks with them documenting their every move if they'd let me. Web-savvy Amish teen on your rumspringa, if you're reading this, holler at me, we'll work out a documentary or something and make your family rich.

Here are two lies and one truth about the Amish. Guess which is true without using wikipedia or the dewey decimal system.

A) They decorate the house with celery instead of flowers.

B) They can't look their uncles in the eye until they reach the age of 16.

C) Amish women detest parsley because they believe it's lazy.

ps, please don't read this and think I'm disrespecting the Amish. I have the utmost respect and genuine interest in them. If you've left the faith, I would love to speak with you.


10 Gallon Bucket said...

i already miss the Amish and their masterful treats.

I'm going to say C is correct because of how ridiculous it sounds.

10 Gallon Bucket said...

also, my back/arms got fried looking at those eagles. that SPF 40 spray was a joke.

Steve Fuller said...

Wanna go with me to an Amish Church?

bww said...

We're heading back to the Amish in a week, I will drop off your contact info.

Daniel Kalbach said...

Wanna hear musical genius? Try Weird Al Yankovic's "Amish Paradise" on for size.