Green Machine

As some of you know I am so green. My lawnmower is still cutting grass sans gas. (that sounds like a sweet rap lyric) And lately I've been thinking that I want a moped. Bad enough that I spent two minutes photoshopping the original Hulk onto a scooter. That has to say something. Anyways, with the gas prices hotstepping towards silliness I just kind of want something I can cruise on but won't kill me. Moped/scooters get like 90 mpg. I'd be so green you'd have to start calling me Lou. Maybe Louie Green. We can iron that out later. The problem is they're selling like hotcakes. Craigslist is failing me. Moped Armies are forming all over. I predict that it won't be long before mopeds and scooters are chirping all over the city. Rideable cicadas.

I always wanted a moped. When I was a kid Dave Losey had one before he was legal. It was black and gold and hardcore. Another friend from junior high, Nate Williams, signed my yearbook on the last day of 7th grade, "this summer, when I get my moped I'll come over so you can ride it." He never got one. I had neighbor who's dad won the lottery and of course he had one. He always told me that once he got a better moped with a bigger engine I could have his old one. That never happened either. I'm just now realizing how many broken teenage promises revolve around mopeds. Weird.

All that to say, if you have a moped or scooter that just sits in your garage let me know. Just don't promise something you can't make good on. I can't handle any more heartbreak.