"" bshawise: Tiny Devil

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Tiny Devil


This apparatus looks perverted doesn't it? It's mine. And it is. Leah made me buy it and she'll admit that it's more for her benefit than mine. In a sick way it brings her pleasure. Not me. It's pure evil. It turns my soft mane of nose hair into a prickly thornbush. Before usage I can rub my nose and experience zero pain. After usage it feels like I have pieces of broken glass in my nostrils. And the worst part....it tickles. Like bad. To the point of torture. The tiny mulcher cuts up my nasal forest in a ticklish way only a true pervert could invent. In closing, Sharper Image supports inhumane torture. Don't let their fancy massage chairs fool you.

5 comments:

leahwise said...

Every man over the age of 25 should own one of these. Trust me. I haven't met a man that would not benefit. You do everyone you an encounter a favor by using the Tiny Devil. To top it off, it brings me great pleasure to watch you squirm in pain while you use it. Muah-ha-ha-ha.

Brad H said...

You need to man up and use a tweezer.

Christopher Day said...

BRAD!!!

How could you???

I mean...really???






You left the stinkin entertainment center door open again!!

bshawise said...

bradley hoffmann, suggesting a tweezer after using the mini mulcher is like telling a marathoner to try a 5k.

john arns said...

I must say that I can see BOTH Brad's and Leah's points of view regarding the Tiny Devil. Brad, think of using this thing as like the first time you shaved your face: uncomfortable and unpleasant, leaving stubble in its wake -- but you got used to it and doing it repeatedly became second nature to you. The first time is the worst ! It was for me -- very painful when those metal blades invaded my sensitive nasal passages. Thinning out your forested nostrils can be likened to taking a bush hog to an overgrown field -- the initial process seems very drastic -- even violent -- and the finished product appears mighty rough and raw at first glance/feel. But given the passage of a little time, when the growth returns, the task will be less cumbersome to undertake when next due for a trim. The horrid pain and devilishly sinister tickling will also subside. Tiny Devil ?? --appropriately named. As for it looking perverse, I believe the same people who designed lipstick tubes also created this gadget.