Aztec Warrior

Monday I was out on a bike ride. I was cruising up and down Cincinnati's countless hills when I saw it. On the porch of a pretty typical, one-story brick home was one of those Aztec tiger demons. I'm sure you've seen them. Huge nostrils, forged in hell, sit on porches and protect families from..... sweeper salesmen? I'm not really sure. They're distant cousins to this screaming dragon. Anyways, what made spying the stoney hellprince so noteworthy (to me) was that it was in a relaxed position. It was sprawled out on its evil stomach with his head propped up on his paw. It looked like he was just out on the porch reading Archie, taking it all in. He was not standing at attention. His powerful talons were not gripping the ground waiting to deliver death. He wasn't guarding the house from anything. He was two minutes away from drifting off into a devilcat nap. I half expected to see a concrete goose waddle out with lemonades. Seems like if you're going to make the call to put Aztec dragonpets out on your front porch you can't have it both ways. Either they're the intimidation police warding off eviler spirits or they're not. Lounging nostril-tigers send mixed messages. Unless it's a trojan horse thing and the faux nap is all a big rouse to keep sweeper salesmen relaxed until it's too late. Well, then you're taking the neighborhood watch to a whole new level and I have to applaud you.